All posts by Fox

I'm a writer, performer, drag king, sock puppeteer, and occasional burlesque dancer. Also triathlete and x-c skier.

If You Ask (NSFW)

CD cover

If You Ask

If you ask, “Do you want to?”

And add, “Right now, let’s go.”

I may say, “No.

Can we share a table first?”

‘Cos even a good fuck,
Is better when I know you enough to care,
If only for those few hours we’re there,
Skin to skin
Until the sun,
Has risen,

Or set

Continue reading If You Ask (NSFW)

Advertisements

Distraction

Distraction

You disrupt me
Corrupt me
Come closer to me and say my name

Tip the balance of my desire

So I can’t hide it anymore

Let me lean against you
And feel muscles tired and sore
Your hands taking still more

Pain and pleasure mingling
Into bliss

And your kiss,
Shattering my soul

Be my distraction
Gaining traction
In my mind and dreams

Until it seems

Reality is just the figment
And the imaginary becomes real

In you

Bind me to your bed,
Bind me in my mind
Blind me to your ways and
Show me what it is to be

Kind

Thrill me
As you do what you will with me,
Take me with only your voice
You give me no choice
As you slip inside

And wax

Rhapsodic
Your eyes glittering in the candlelight
As the flame trickles down my body
And leaves patterns on my flesh

That I will secret away for days

Your ways
Will never become routine
But for now
In this scene
Make me scream your Name

Doncha

Some of you boys think you have it so rough,

Doncha?

Being attracted to women you just don’t understand

Her make up,
What makes her tick
When you tock

You say to me “you’re a lesbian
– tell me
– explain to me
Share your lesbionic wisdom and prowess

Then you say, “I’m a lesbian in a man’s body, I’ll understand.”
.
.
.

No,

There is no such thing as a lesbian in a man’s body,
And I’ll tell you why.

No matter how many manly tears you shed,
No matter how many sunsets,
Back rubs that don’t lead to sex
Flowers,
Or walks holding hands,

You will never know

When you wrap your hot lips around the peak of her breast,
Nibble and suck
Listening to her moan

You will never know

When you go down on her,
Take her inside your mouth
Lapping
Parting her folds,
Caressing her flesh

Tasting her essence,

You – will – never – know

what it’s like to have that same unfathomable,

unpredictable,

ungovernable feeling you elicit in her,

inside of you.

© Fox Smoulder

I am a Woman

Photo Credit: Alexander Sloan at the Little Tijuana's publicity shoot 2013 Bad Grrrl Productions
Photo Credit: Alexander Sloan at the Little Tijuana’s publicity shoot 2013 Bad Grrrl Productions

I am a woman,

My muscles are defined, but they don’t define me

My hair is short,

And I just smile at the conflict your eyes

when your “Can I help you sir…or ma’am…or sir…” trails off.

Because I am a woman,

When you say “You’d look so pretty if you tried.”

You tell me you aren’t looking at all.

And when you say women wear dresses,

And you say women paint their nails

And women have ponytails,

You tell me you don’t perceive women for what we are, but what we do.

Because I do none of these things and

I am a woman,

I am unmitigated,

Undiluted,

Unadulterated

Freely me

Because I am a woman,

My skin is soft,

My lips are warm,

And when I make love to her, the cry of a woman passes my lips

I am the sound, taste, feel and smell of a woman,

However you see me, whatever you think you see does not change the immutable,

I am a woman

And now that you’re told

don’t you fucking forget it.

Chaste

I don’t kiss

Chaste

I’ve been chased for a kiss and kissed in a peck

But my kisses

Are never-

Chaste

Because it’s not really a kiss,

If you can’t taste,

The person you’re holding to you

as your lips form and give,

parting as tongues plunder,

stealing the air from the other and

just hold tight and moan in short breaths,

Sharing light caresses

Until lips meet again for another.

Never waste

The chance to let go and explore another’s soul

Because a kiss can be nothing at all,

Or the whole truth of who a person is,

But how would you ever know?

If you kiss

Chaste?

Tangled in the Sheets (NSFW)

 Photo credit: Allison Broeren
Photo credit: Allison Broeren

The fastest way into a woman’s pants is to get into the space between her ears,

The fastest way into a man’s pants is to get into the space between him and his pants.

The fastest way into a Drag King’s pants? See above…

“What’s that lump boy?” You ask, “There in your pants? Is it happy to see me? Is it not

biological

perchance?

Is it a cotton tube sock,

bandannas or even

‘real-skin’ perhaps?”

– The shape of the flesh thrills me less than the strut across the stage, the smile in the aisle, the lip-synched rage.

I’ll be who you desire,

engender

any gender

you require.

I see you are strong – nice hands – quite a grip,

Can we tip

the velvet?

Or trip

Over the gender lines that define what we should want and what we do,

Fall into lips, crushing hard enough to bruise

What’s under there?

Silk?

Or cotton men’s underwear?

Can we shed our trappings?

Can we shuck ourselves of the husks of  coded wrappings?

Can we be two people held against the other’s flesh by strong hands?

Filled

With desire

Instead of confined in the gendered mire.

Fucking, instead of fucked up

Over who’s on first and what’s on second

Thrust inside of you as you thrust inside of me.

Begging the other for release,

Trembling, taking in your moans and whimpers

I echo them amplified, increased…

With my lips between your hips

Human bonds tether us together,

Laws

Human and physics don’t apply

To each and every buck,

grind

and sigh

When you’re riding my thigh

– I just want you as you are

who you are

Ask it of me

and I will comply.

What’s in a name?

The Story of Fox Smoulder.


When I began doing drag and poetry reads, I was told I should pick a drag name to use when I perform. This was in the late 90’s when it was still a little risky to be doing drag because people would think you’re gay. Whether or not you were gay back then was a side note, you didn’t want people to think you were. Great strides were being made by the GLBT community, but in the small towns in middle America, you still had to watch your back.

Kinda like a porn name, your drag name would hopefully keep your employer in the dark so you don’t get fired for being a big homo, and your parents might not find out. I was performing for free at a fundraiser, not a big deal, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to keep my given name to myself. A quick survey showed me that lot of the drag names out there were pretty campy so I chose Rock Bottom. That was fun for a while, but then I moved to Minneapolis and noticed that people knew and called the drag kings by their drag names almost as much as, or more than, their given names. I couldn’t go around being called ‘Rock’. First of all I’m not. A ‘rock’ that is. And second, I’d never remember to answer to it. Not to mention there is a Rock Bottom brewery on Hennepin Ave and I can’t stand the taste of beer.

My name had to change.

My quest to find a new name began and ended quickly. Fox was easy, I would answer to Fox as had been known as Fox when I was a Girl Scout camp counselor, and there’s a reason for that. Most people think ‘oh yeah, big X-Files nut’, but no. I also understand why people might initially think of the animal or the foxiness of my person, but no, that’s only part of it too. I do feel a certain kinship with those foxes but the name ‘Fox’ goes still deeper.

When I was in my early teens my parents and I took a road trip around Lake Superior with our camper trailer. I was a deeply unhappy kid most of the time. Looking back, I’m fairly certain it was moderate depression, but I didn’t know that then. I just knew people sucked, life sucked and I generally sucked as well. I tried to perk up for my parents from time to time, but mostly I sat in the back seat listening to my headphones and reading, writing, or staring out the window lost in thought.

We’d stop to have lunch, or see sights, or just to stretch, and I’d wander off each time. I’d poke under bridges or search the lake shore for something worth picking up, until one day I came across this statue. It was a young man running on an artificial leg. I’m not talking about those new cheetah legs either. This thing was one of the old clunky, have to really swing the hip to get the thing to even think of going forward a step, artificial legs. This boy had been an athlete in high school and college, but was then diagnosed with osteosarcoma, (bone cancer). Having his right leg amputated slowed him down, it didn’t stop him, then in 1980 he dipped his foot into the Atlantic on the coast of Newfoundland and began his Marathon of Hope, a run to Victoria, B.C. He ran a marathon distance (26mi, or 42k) each day, save a few rest days, until 143 days and 5,373 kilometres (3,339 mi)in, he was forced to stop just outside of Thunder Bay, Ontario, not far from the statue I was looking up at, because the cancer had come back and spread to his lungs. By that point he had raised 1.7 million dollars with the goal of ending cancer.

The boy’s name?

If you are Canadian you already know, but I’m American and I had never heard of him until that day:

Terry Fox

I’m known as Fox Smoulder because it’s fun and ‘gay’ and campy, but I’m known as Fox because of a young man I’d never met, who laid his life down to make a difference for others, who’s courage lead him to an accomplishment that surpassed anything I’d ever dreamed of. He changed my life forever. He changed a lot of lives forever. I’m called Fox to honor that strength, that courage, that determination, that will to strive.

And after that day at the base of that statue,

I never,

thought about killing myself again.

I’m called Fox, because I want to live with the kind of hope for the world that lead a young man with one leg down a lonely stretch of Canadian highway as far as he could possibly go.

“Dreams are made. If people only try. I believe in miracles… I have to… Because somewhere the hurting must stop.”
Terrance Stanley Fox
July 28, 1958 – June 28, 1981

http://my.tbaytel.net/jmehagan/parks/terryfox/terryfox.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terry_Fox

Welcome!

So many things have happened! I’m still performing in drag and burlesque, and my album is still available for purchase, but I have also been pursuing other performance activities as well. Keep an eye out for future postings regarding my stage combat and other acting experiences, publishing pursuits and the launch of my new non-burly and drag blog!

The album is still here!
Incorrigible & Intimate on iTunes

It’s also on CDBaby.com and Amazon if you’re iTunes averse.

Also, I have my Smashwords.com author page: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/FoxSmoulder. There you can buy some of my stories and download them straight to your e-reader. Keep an eye there, I’ll have a collection of old and new work, (including some saucy, but tasteful pics from one of the cover shoots) soon!

I’m performing more of my sexy poetry and burlesque live too! ‘Like’ or check my Facebook page:

https://www.facebook.com/FoxSmoulderFans

or follow me on Twitter: @Foxsmoulder

So welcome! Lets Fox around! =^x^=